Another day, another milestone for Bernie, the gum-chewing web developer. It’s now day 12, and while I’m impressed by his unyielding commitment, someone else has officially joined the fan club: Lauren, the Liquid Death devotee who’s usually seen sipping her canned water like it’s a holy relic.
Lauren is one of the regulars at the cafe, known for her strong opinions on hydration and her almost evangelistic enthusiasm for sparkling water in edgy packaging. Today, she was practically buzzing with excitement as she watched Bernie settle into his usual spot, gum still intact.
“I love this guy,” Lauren declared, holding her can of Liquid Death like a trophy. “He’s the definition of dedication. People don’t appreciate perseverance like this anymore!”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “You really think chewing the same gum for 12 days is inspirational?”
“Absolutely,” she said without missing a beat. “It’s like… a metaphor. For life. You know, sticking with things even when they get tough.”
Sticking with things. I’m pretty sure she didn’t intend the pun, but it was hard to miss.
Bernie, oblivious to all this admiration, kept typing away at his laptop, his rhythmic chewing as steady as ever. Lauren, however, decided to make her appreciation known. She approached him, Liquid Death in hand, and said, “Bernie, you’re a legend. Can I buy you a drink?”
He looked up, slightly bewildered but smiling. “Uh, thanks, but I’m good,” he replied, gesturing to his half-empty coffee cup. “I appreciate it, though.”
Lauren wasn’t deterred. “Well, just so you know, you’ve got fans,” she said, raising her can in a toast. “Stay strong, gum warrior.”
“Gum warrior,” Bernie repeated, chuckling. “I’ll take it.”
The whole interaction was both hilarious and oddly heartwarming. Who knew that a piece of gum could bring out such camaraderie? The cafe feels like a sitcom at this point, with Bernie as the unlikely hero and Lauren as the spirited sidekick.
As for me, I’m just here for the show—and to document every chewy moment. Will Bernie make it to two weeks? Will Lauren start a fan club? The saga continues, and I can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings.
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