Day 13. Bernie, the gum-chewing web developer, is still going strong. His dedication to this single, well-worn piece of gum is becoming the stuff of local legend. But every hero needs a nemesis, and today, that nemesis arrived in the form of Evil Leslie.
If you’ve never met Leslie, count yourself lucky. She’s like a modern-day Cruella de Vil, but instead of obsessing over Dalmatian fur, she’s obsessed with drama—and apparently, ruining Bernie’s gum journey. She swept into the cafe this morning, clad in a fur-trimmed coat and heels so sharp they could probably puncture tires. Her entrance practically screamed, “Villain in the making.”
Lauren, the ever-enthusiastic Liquid Death drinker, and I were already seated, keeping our usual watch over Bernie, who was clicking away at his laptop. Leslie zeroed in on him almost immediately.
“Well, well, well,” she said, sauntering over to Bernie’s table. “If it isn’t the gum guy.”
Bernie looked up, clearly caught off guard. “Uh, hi?”
“Thirteen days with the same gum? That’s… disgusting,” she said with a smirk. “Don’t you think it’s time to give it up?”
Before he could respond, she pulled a shiny new pack of gum from her bag and slid it onto the table. “Here. A gift. For the greater good.”
Lauren nearly choked on her Liquid Death. “Excuse me, Leslie, but Bernie doesn’t need your charity.”
Leslie turned her icy glare toward Lauren. “Oh, I’m sorry, are you the president of the gum preservation society?”
Lauren stood her ground. “No, but I am a fan of commitment, which you clearly wouldn’t understand.”
Bernie, ever the diplomat, held up a hand. “Look, I appreciate the offer, but I’m sticking with this piece. It’s a… thing now.”
Leslie let out a theatrical sigh. “Fine. But don’t come crying to me when your jaw gives out.” And with that, she tossed her hair and strutted away, leaving a faint scent of expensive perfume and bad vibes in her wake.
After she left, the cafe was buzzing with whispers. Bernie, to his credit, just shrugged and went back to work, the now-infamous gum still in motion. Lauren, however, was livid. “Who does she think she is?” she fumed. “Trying to sabotage a hero’s journey like that!”
Hero’s journey. I’m not sure I’d go that far, but I have to admit, Bernie’s resolve is impressive. Evil Leslie may have tried to derail him, but he’s unshakable. This gum saga is bigger than all of us now.
As the day wrapped up, I couldn’t help but wonder what tomorrow would bring. More drama? Another nemesis? A surprise twist? One thing’s for sure: Bernie’s gum adventure is far from over.
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