There’s this guy in my neighborhood—Bernie. Bernie is… well, let’s just say he marches to the beat of his own drum. Not in the “he’s a quirky artist” kind of way, but in the “he might need his own Netflix documentary” kind of way.
Bernie’s thing? He’s been chewing the same piece of gum for 10 days now. Not ten different pieces of gum. One. Singular. Piece. This lone wad of minty endurance has been with him, like a sticky sidekick, since January 14th.
I first noticed Bernie during one of my morning coffee runs. He was sitting at his laptop in the corner of our local cafe, headphones on, furiously typing away. His jaw moved in a slow, methodical rhythm, and I thought, “Wow, Bernie really likes his gum.” Then, I saw him again the next day. And the day after that. Same table. Same focus. Same chewing.
By day five, my curiosity got the better of me. As I was refilling my coffee, I decided to ask him about it.
“Hey, Bernie,” I said. “You’ve been chewing that gum for a while now, huh?”
He looked up from his screen and gave me a thoughtful smile, pausing mid-chew. “It’s the perfect piece of gum,” he said, as though he were revealing the secret to life itself. “Why would I waste perfection?”
Okay, Bernie. Sure.
As it turns out, Bernie is a web developer, and he unwrapped this particular piece of gum during a late-night debugging session. “It keeps me focused,” he explained. “You know, like a stress ball, but for your mouth. Plus, it’s still got flavor. Sort of. It’s… evolving.”
Evolving. Like a Pokémon, but grosser.
I had to admire his dedication, even if I couldn’t relate. I mean, most people would’ve tossed that gum by the time it turned into an unflavored rubbery blob, but not Bernie. He’s a man of principle—or maybe just stubbornness. Either way, he’s committed.
Now, Bernie’s become something of a local celebrity. Regulars at the cafe have started to notice his ritual. Some offer him fresh gum, which he politely declines. “This piece and I have been through too much together,” he’ll say. “It’s like a long-term relationship. You don’t just walk away from that.”
By now, I’m fully invested in Bernie’s journey. Is it weird? Absolutely. But it’s also weirdly inspiring. Here’s a guy who’s sticking—quite literally—to his principles. Meanwhile, I can’t even stick to a New Year’s resolution for longer than a week.
So here’s to Bernie, the gum-chewing web developer. Will he make it to 20 days? A month? A year? Who knows? But I’ll be here, documenting his chewy adventure, one bizarre day at a time.
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