It’s official: Bernie has now been chewing the same piece of gum for 11 days. That’s one day longer than most people’s attention spans in 2025, and honestly, it’s starting to feel like he’s on the cusp of some kind of endurance record.
I saw him again today at the cafe, in his usual spot—headphones on, coding away like he’s reinventing the internet. His jaw was still doing its now-familiar rhythmic chew, like a metronome for productivity. I couldn’t help but wonder if the gum had gained sentience by now.
“Bernie,” I said as I grabbed my coffee, “you’ve really committed to this gum thing, huh?”
He looked up, his ever-present grin widening. “Why quit now?” he said. “At this point, it’s not just gum. It’s a symbol.”
“A symbol of what?” I asked, half-expecting some deep philosophical insight.
“Persistence,” he said, “and maybe a little stubbornness. But mostly persistence.”
Right. Persistence. Because when I think of inspirational figures, I absolutely think of Bernie and his decade-old gum. I mean, sure, there are Olympians and astronauts, but have they chewed the same gum for 11 days? Didn’t think so.
It gets better, though. Today, one of the baristas asked if Bernie wanted a fresh piece of gum on the house. He politely declined, explaining that switching now would be like abandoning a project right before launch. “This gum has been with me through endless debugging,” he said. “We’re in this together.”
We’re in this together. Spoken like a true developer in a co-dependent relationship with his code—and apparently, his gum.
I’m not the only one who finds this fascinating. The cafe regulars are starting to rally behind Bernie. Someone suggested making a betting pool to see how long he can keep this up. Another person joked about starting a Kickstarter to enshrine the gum in a glass case if it ever retires. It’s ridiculous, yes, but it’s also becoming part of our collective routine. Bernie’s gum saga is uniting us in a weird, sticky way.
Will he make it to day 12? I’ll be here to find out. In the meantime, here’s to Bernie, the web developer whose dedication—to gum, if not dental hygiene—is nothing short of legendary.
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